Pam Ann dishes it with Katrina Fox at 30,000 feet

She's jetsetted around the world to perform sell-out shows, hob-nobbed with the likes of Posh Spice and Liz Hurley and danced with Donatella Versace, but the campest air hostess you're ever likely to meet was inspired, not from years of comic and dramatic training, but as a result of alcohol. "It was really organic the way I got into performing," Pam Ann creator Caroline Reid says. "I had a birthday party for a lot of my friends in Melbourne where I'm from and I dressed up as a flight attendant - that's how Pam came about."

For those of you unfamiliar with Reid's alter-ego, Pam Ann is the epitome of a glamorous kitsch 1960s trolley dolly with big hair, loud polyester uniform and plenty of attitude. "Pam grew as I grew and the audiences got bigger, as did the airports," Reid says. "The more she travelled, finally ending up in London, the more bitter, twisted and jaded she became, through travel and working in clubs where you need to be really quick on your feet. She became hard, as opposed to Melbourne where she was sweet as cherry pie. The competition got bigger so she got bitter."

So what can audiences who have never met Pam before expect? "I have a fantastic safety video which will touch on everyone's fear of flying - it's very un-pc what I do," explains Reid, whose inspirations include comedians Barry Humphries, Joan Rivers and Phyllis Diller. "The theatre is like an aeroplane. I upgrade and degrade people in the audience. I'm very classist - well, Pam is, not me - I'm an old suburban scrubber from Vermont and I don't aspire to be elitist at all, but Pam is a bitch and a snob. If you're in the front row of the show and you're wearing Target, you will be escorted out, so watch out. But if you're sitting in economy and you're wearing Versace, or a label, then you'll get an instant upgrade - you're completely going to be looked after. You're going to experience a lot of interaction with passengers. Pam will upgrade someone onto the stage and give them a flat bed and a full service. She'll love the person she gets up onto the stage but she'll detest someone throughout the whole show, so you're either going to be a winner or a loser - there's no middle ground at all." It's just this kind of audience interaction that has made Pam so popular, Reid believes. "It's that old school, very un-pc kind of humour - people enjoy being insulted. It's a formula - I didn't even know I was going to hit on it. People like to come along for the ride, even though they're petrified."

Each show has a theme, with previous ones such as Pam Ann Wants You seeing the launch of Pam's new airline, Easy Pam. "It's all topical," Reid says. "Whatever's happening in the world, so that particular show was about recruitment, and there's war and terrorism on aircrafts of course. There's always something else that will come up that Pam will twist and fuck with people's minds about. Terrorism is a great topic to talk about, especially when you're flying. The show was a bit dark and heavy during the September 11 and Iraq thing. I couldn't perform for a couple of weeks because everything coming out of my mouth was wrong, even with just saying 'Welcome aboard'" Ironically though it is American audiences who laugh the loudest at the terrorist jokes, Reid says. " I have a big loyal fanbase in New York and out of everywhere in the world they're the ones who say, 'More terrorism Pam'. They love it. I get shot in my safety video by a terrorist so it's quite hardhitting. New Yorkers love that - they were on their feet. I think humour alleviates some of the pressure. In a way it's inadvertently quite cleansing for people." The current Sydney show is called Busy, Busy, Busy. "Pam does a routine with the trolley where she says, 'Busy, busy, busy' and she's so not busy," Reid explains. "So I decided to call the show that."

The high camp factor was always going to be popular with gay audiences and not surprisingly, the majority of Pam's dancers (Pam's People) are gay. "I try and get straight ones because Pam likes them, but they're gay although Pam doesn't know that," Reid says. "I've got some really sexy boys dancing. They'll be a lot of eye candy for the boys and girls too. I think we'll have fun sorting out which ones are straight and which ones are gay. We're doing a homage to Village People as well so it's very camp, very You Can't Stop the Music."

Pam's popularity has soared in the eight years since she's been around and her gay card went up with her frequent flyer points when Elton John booked her to charter his private jet to Venice for David Furnish's 40th birthday party. "Two poofs in a plane and Pam - there's a song in that," Reid chuckles. "You had the likes of Lulu and Posh Spice and they would say, 'Pam can we have a drink'? And she'd say 'Go and fucking get it yourself' or 'Carry your own bags.' So everyone had to get what they wanted themselves - there was no service and they loved that. It was really surreal because it's one of those things you dream about and you're like 'What?' You have the likes of Liz Hurley walking past you at the party, and at one stage Elton was running towards me and I was thinking, 'Is he running towards me or the person behind me?' He grabbed me and he was like, 'Oh my God, Pam Ann!' Then I had the last dance with Donatella Versace - she's a card. It was like I was drowning and your life flashes in front of you and I couldn't wait to tell my mum in Vermont."

So what do the airlines and their staff think of Pam? "I know a lot of people who are flight attendants who are absolutely fantastic and inspirational," Reid says. "They love Pam and I love them dearly. Easy Jet I think would love Pam to help them out with their chartered airline trauma. I really bitch about British Airways so much but they hire Pam to do their marketing for them and she's also training the Virgin Atlantic Crew in Melbourne - they want me to train them how not to do things. She's very popular with airline staff because she says what they want to say but can't."

Nowadays her star status means that Pam is recognised by trolley dollys the world over. "Coming out here on the British Airways flight, the cabin crew weren't fussing or anything. Then I got off the plane with my brother and was going up the escalator when these queens came up behind me and said, 'Pam, Pam, we all knew you were on the plane but we didn't want to make a fuss,' and I said, 'Bitches! You should have come up and given me a bottle of champagne'. Not that Reid ever asks for upgrades, mind you. "Oh no, I would never use Pam's name in vain," she insists. "And you know what - they wouldn't give her an upgrade, they'd put her right down the back in a toilet. They'd like to see her squirm in her seat and chuck things at her."

Naturally with her years of experience as a top-class air stewardess, Pam had a positive and reassuring message for SX readers regarding flying in these times of fear and paranoia. "You could be lucky - you could have a nice terrorist on board because there's nothing nicer than being surprised - someone coming up behind you with something hard," says Reid - or is it Pam? "Pam loves terrorism. She's hoping for the day when there's three Al-Qaeda on board - she encourages it. They've got that Turkish kind of handsome rugged feel. She'll be quite excited if they're on board." She then offers advice on what to do if confronted by a terrorist on a plane. "Seduction is how you disarm a terrorist," she states. "Those Al-Qaeda would give in in a second - what gun? What bomb? Pam will have them wrapped round her little finger." Got that?

SX News is one of Australia's leading gay and lesbian arts, entertainment, news and culture magazines For more information visit the magazine's website at www.sxnews.com.au