The Camp Vamp: Katrina Fox

Oh my god(dess)s!

Katrina Fox — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 23:18:00 +0000

The God squad are on a recruitment drive. The editor of the Sydney Star Observer reported last week that she’d received a Jehovah’s Witness leaflet proclaiming ‘The End of False Religion’. She was lucky and got a pretty girl brandishing it at her front door – I just got the leaflet stuffed in the mailbox. I wonder if the timing could be anything to do with Halloween being just around the corner.

It got me thinking that perhaps Pagans should employ similar tactics to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and other Christians to tout their religion, especially to the gay market. Let’s weigh up what each has to offer. Christianity: no ‘immoral’ sex (ie no gay sex, sex for money, casual or promiscuous shagging); daggy outfits (long sleeves, high tops, A-line skirts and sensible shoes); and in the case of Jehovah’s Witnesses, if you get hit by a bus and need a blood transfusion, you’re screwed ’cos it’s not allowed.

Paganism (a broad term encompassing a range of traditions from Celtic nature religions to Wicca or modern witchcraft): consensual sex acts between adults celebrated (sometimes incorporated into magic rituals to initiate global peace); activities that include running into the sea under moonlight to purify and cleanse yourself – trust me when I tell you this isn’t much fun on a winter night in a coastal town in the British Isles but Sydney is made for this sort of frolicking; cool clothes (black is always a winner as it makes you look slim and that whole ‘goth’ aesthetic allows for liberal and creative application of make-up). Well, I know which one I’d choose, but then again I’m a die-hard radical queer, militant vegan, high-femme lipstick lesbian with a penchant for older women in glitter eyeshadow and big heels.

I’ve never understood the attraction of Christianity, nor the embracing of it by GLBTI folk. I mean, each to their own and all that, but why worship one male god who by all accounts is a moody old bugger with misogynistic and homophobic tendencies and hang-ups about sex, when you can revere all manner of deities, depending on where you’re at on a particular day? Kali the Dark Goddess, for example, has head-dresses and bling to rival Cher, so is a natural choice of icon for gay men, and her wild, uncontrollable nature ensures her appeal to most dykes.

And why get up early on a Sunday morning to go to church in your stylistically-challenged attire to belt out war-mongering hymns like ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’, and listen to lectures from uptight clerics about boring things like original sin, when you can have a lie-in and dance around naked in the evening, chanting ditties such as ‘We All Come From the Goddess’ and generally have a gay old time? Oh yeah – and you’re unlikely to get 5000 Pagans in steel-capped boots blockading the Mardi Gras Parade because they believe that GLBTI people are about to bring forth Sydney’s destruction, according to God’s law (as is planned by certain religious factions for next year's parade). Sold yet?

Excuses, excuses

Katrina Fox — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 03:52:00 +0000

We can all find them, can’t we? Excuses I mean. If we’re grumpy to our girlfriend, it’s our hormones, not us. If we crash into the back of the car in front of us, it was the driver’s stupid fault for being in our way. If we take too much crystal meth and have unsafe sex, it’s all down to the drug, right? PMS, road rage, inebriation, even existential crisis of being – any old thing will do, so long as we don’t have to take responsibility for our actions.

The urge to blame someone or something else begins in childhood – the threat of punishment, whether it’s an adult shouting at you or a sound spanking (admittedly more likely to be a turn-on nowadays) instils fear and encourages the urge to deny one’s actions, even if they’ve been witnessed directly by your accuser.

At the age of eight I threw a bucket of water over my ‘best friend’ Julie Stokes who lived in the flat below me (lesbian melodrama with dominant/submissive overtones often begins early in life – I got away with tying her up, pulling down her pants and fingering her, all on the pretext that it was ‘practice’ for when she got a ‘boyfriend’ – girls are sooo easy!). Julie’s mother, ‘Auntie Maisy’, saw me through the window: ‘What did you do that for?’ she asked, incredulously. Bold as brass I replied: ‘I didn’t’. No amount of arguing on her part that she’d seen me, a drenched Julie wailing that I’d done it (she paid later, don’t worry) could convince me to own up to the deed, acknowledge that it wasn’t a very nice thing to do and accept that I deserved to be punished.

If I were old enough to have been able to think up a proper excuse for myself, I would have. Just like 46-year-old James Seaton did this week when he appeared in court in London, charged with sawing off his girlfriend Jacqueline Queen’s head while she was still alive because she told him she was a lesbian and was breaking up with him. His excuse? He was ‘too drunk at the time to be responsible for his actions’. Tch. There for the grace of God, eh?

These days I’m far more prepared with my ‘out’. If I come over all Winona and get caught slipping love balls and KY jelly into my bag without paying for them in a sex shop, I am not responsible for my actions – I did it because I suffer from GMSS – Gay Media Stress Syndrome. Having to come up with 500 words each week for my SX column, Keeping Abreast, as well as knocking out news and features while fending off queries from publicists who insist on ringing up on press day to enquire as to whether I ‘got the press release’ on a new brand of soap that’s pink and therefore ‘a great angle’ for gay readers invariably leads to occasional periods of temporary insanity. That’s my excuse, anyway.

Scarlet pleasure

Katrina Fox — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 00:10:00 +0000

While mainstream society seems to have embraced some elements of porn in the form of raunch culture: girls next door getting their tits out and making out in public and on camera for reality TV shows, a group of self-proclaimed “sex-positive horny feminists” have managed to shock and disgust mainstream pornographers with their new sex site, Erotic Red. “Before we even launched, adult industry types were quick to be repulsed at the entire concept of Erotic Red and referred to the site as ‘very disturbing’, ‘unacceptable’, ‘offensive’, and simply too ‘dangerous’,” says the site’s owner, indie pornographer Furry Girl. Even adult credit card billing companies, after they viewed the site, refused to take it on as a client and process its transactions.

You can’t blame them, really because what Erotic Red is doing is truly shocking and outside any acceptable limits of pornography or pop culture: menstruation porn. Yes, you read it right – women celebrating sex on the rag. Jeez, what’s up with these girls? What’s going on in their heads that they would want to foist such an obscene concept onto any right-thinking individual? Why can’t Furry Girl, and her cohorts like Bloody Trixie (who even has the audacity to run her own solo site featuring pictures of her masturbating in blood-soaked panties and revelling in smearing her body with her red fluids) be satisfied with the standard porn fare available? Don’t they check their spam emails properly? I mean, there’s ‘midget sex’, teenage girls getting spanked, ‘fat mommas raped in every orifice’, and of course an endless supply of silicone-enhanced Barbie dolls fucked in every hole before receiving a face full of cum.

And let’s not forget popular TV shows and films that glorify violence. If Erotic Red likes blood so much, why not stick with nice, safe material that meets with government approval? Like people bleeding to death from a knife or gunshot wound, or stories of serial killers cutting off a prostitute’s tits and mutilating her genitals – you know, all that inoffensive stuff that’s shoved in our faces every day.

But some girls just don’t know where to draw the line. Instead they feel compelled to subvert society’s consideration of women’s sexuality, instilling females with the positive message that their monthly flow isn’t dirty or something to be ashamed of but rather celebrated. It’s a disgrace. They don’t even use ‘proper’ models on the sites. These women in menstruation porn are of all ages, shapes, sizes and looks – some of them even have tattoos, piercings and large arses, for god’s sake. They’re seriously scary chicks. “Even with the knowledge that an obscenity prosecution could be just around the corner, I stand firm in believing that Erotic Red is an important site to open,” an emboldened Furry Girl proclaims. “We’re just happy to be making the radical statement that all women are lovely, powerful, sexual creatures EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.” Honestly – can you believe her front? What’s she trying to do - start a revolution?
www.eroticred.com

Why we need Queer Camps

Katrina Fox — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 23:12:00 +0000

Jesus Camp is one very scary documentary currently screening across the US, which shows kids as young as six being trained to be “warriors in God’s army” at pastor Becky Fischer’s summer camp in North Dakota, called Kids on Fire. Forget fun activities such as communal ball games, at
‘Jesus Camp’ the kids, who are mostly home-schooled and taught not to believe in evolution or global warming, speak in tongues, writhe on the floor, weep for salvation, and pray to pictures of George Bush (told you it was scary). It’s part of an Evangelical youth movement sweeping the US which sees Fischer say in the movie: “I want to see [the children] radically laying down their lives for their gospel as they are in Pakistan, Israel and Palestine.” A voice on the movie’s trailer proclaims that the fundamentalist Evangelicals have “taken over the White House and Congress”, before Fischer issues her own chilling warning: “This is just the tip of the iceberg.”

Now see, this is why we need a radical queer agenda, people. It’s time to start training and indoctrinating our youth. It’s the only way – we’ve got the Exclusive Brethren right on our doorsteps to contend with, influencing elections with their anti-gay agenda. It’s time to set up Queer Camps in which all children of GLBTI folk, regardless of sex or gender identity, shall learn off by heart and recite at will the lyrics to every song by Cher and k.d lang. Camp leaders will know they are doing their jobs properly when each child is writhing on the floor, weeping and speaking in tongues, whenever ‘Believe’ or ‘Constant Craving’ is played. Praying to pictures of Ellen Degeneres is to be encouraged (the Emmys under her belt, she’s now to host the Oscars – who needs God with that kind of power?), as is substituting the word ‘lezzo’ (or ‘poof’, ‘trannie’ or any other word the child feels best describes their identity or sexual orientation at any given time) into Helen Reddy’s feminist anthem ‘I Am Woman’.

Once Queer Basics 101 has been instilled into the young warriors, they are then free to embrace diversity, whether it be adding death metal to their musical tastes or engaging in heterosexual activities. All Queer Camp attendees must, however, pledge to further the queer agenda and lifestyle for the rest of their lives. This includes but is not limited to preaching outside straight venues and making spin-offs to Will & Grace. Now if this all sounds a bit too drastic, consider this: in Jesus Camp a girl of about eight or nine can be seen crying and wailing “no more, no more”. She is calling for an end to abortion. Fischer argues she’s teaching kids about the value of human life. In Queer Camp, we could get the kids to pray for…hmm, how about an end to right-wing, war-mongering leaders who pander to homophobic Evangelicals? Or is that just way too radical and over the top?

Straight girls and 'faux' lesbian antics

Katrina Fox — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 00:49:00 +0000

A Dream Dates survey by internet portal Lycos piqued my interest this week. According to the survey, most British men aren’t bothered if their female partners indulge in lesbian affairs. While 30 per cent found it “a bit odd”, 61 per cent said it is “not a problem”.

It would be nice to think that the 21st century has given rise to a whole new breed of enlightened blokes, who are totally cool and comfortable with women’s sexuality and no longer see lesbianism as a threat to their masculinity. But I suspect it’s more to do with the popularity of online porn involving two or more chicks and with the current trend of straight girls kissing or snogging other straight girls, not for their own pleasure, but to please…straight guys. Young women are more inclined to indulge in these faux Sapphic fumblings, with the trend happening mostly on college campuses and night-clubs. Any touching, sucking or poking of any sexual organs below the mouth, however, is strictly forbidden. “The impulse [to go further than kissing] is there, and some girls do it, but respectable girls who kiss girls don’t,” says ‘Julie’ in an article on the subject on Salon.com.

Whether this trend is a good or bad thing is hotly debated in the media. Some argue it’s an expression of girls’ sexuality and therefore valid and empowering. Others believe it degrades ‘real’ lesbians because of participants’ insistence that they are absolutely not gay, not even bisexual, as if gay or bi is something bad. All I know is, I wish this trend had been in place when I was in my teens. If my cousin Alan had asked me to snog a cute girl in my class to turn him on, instead of having to suck his face off at the end of our first (and last) date, I’d have been in my element. If Alison Stewart, the gorgeous blonde Debbie Harry lookalike in the sixth form had solicited me for a bit of lip action and dirty dancing in order to help her snare a lad she had her eye on, I would have been most happy to oblige – after all, that’s what sisterhood is all about, right?

And that’s the point the critics of girl-girl make-outs seem to be missing. All the analyses of how ‘degrading’ it might be for queer girls to see straight girls playing bi for male attention omit to point out that it’s the perfect opportunity for said queer girls to have a full-on lesbo snog with the straight girl crush of their dreams that they would otherwise have had no chance with and had to spend the summer mooning over their unrequited love and playing maudlin Karen Carpenter songs (or whoever the modern-day equivalent is). Most of us have had and will continue to have to spend even just a little time in the closet in our youth – at least nowadays some of the rewards are a lot more substantial.

Yes, Germaine

Katrina Fox — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 23:12:00 +0000

Censorship is a dangerous game. Now, of course, we all censor ourselves to some extent in order to maintain some sense of civility and prevent violence breaking out (if your girlfriend or boyfriend
asks you if their arse looks ok in the new pair of jeans they’ve just bought, censoring your reply to ‘Oh darling, I love your behind’, instead of the more honest ‘No, you fucking fat lardass, get to the gym’ is fair enough).

But when it comes to an attempt by the mainstream media to censor the views of someone because they don’t deem them ‘appropriate’, we’re on dodgy ground. Take the recent media furore over Germaine Greer’s comments about Steve Irwin. I’ve personally never been a big fan of Germaine – her anti-trans philosophy and mentioning my girlfriend and me by name in her book The Whole Woman in a chapter entitled ‘Pantomime Dames’ didn’t exactly endear me to her. But she gets points for going against the popularist stance the media took over Irwin who died after being stabbed by a stingray. The words ‘iconic’ ‘animal-lover’ and ‘conservationist’ were used to describe a man who jumped on the backs of crocodiles and set up a zoo to ‘house’ wild animals captured from their native habitat so humans can gawk at them. “The animal world has finally taken its revenge on Irwin”, Greer stated in her column in UK newspaper The Guardian. The next day she went further, calling those who mourned Irwin and labelled his death as Australia’s ‘Princess Diana’ moment, “idiots” and the whole mass grief phenomenon “embarrassing”.

The outcry against Greer’s comments was astounding. Interviewer Karl Stefanovic was hostile to her when she appeared on A Current Affair; The Daily Telegraph sent her a muzzle, printed her agent’s email address and called on readers to tell her exactly what they felt; political leaders including Labor Party foreign affairs spokesman Kevin Rudd told her to shut up. Whatever your feelings towards Greer, it makes you wonder whatever happened to the right to free speech. Stefanovic used Greer’s refusal to name a public figure who agreed with her sentiments, as proof that no one did, but conversations in the SX office, among friends and colleagues, as well as a trawl of various chat rooms and message boards this week showed she’s by no means alone in her views of Irwin – she just had the guts to say so publicly.

We should all take note. How often do you keep quiet, stay in the closet, or pretend to agree with the majority opinion so you’ll be liked? How often do we refuse to ‘rock the boat’ because we’re afraid of the consequences? Censorship in all its forms is a messy business. Yes, we rightly rail against homophobia and incitements to violence against us, but that doesn’t mean our critics should be made to be silent altogether, just as we have a right to speak out against them, against George Bush, John Howard…and their friend, Steve Irwin.

Choose Your Research (Gay Sheep)

Katrina Fox — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 07:50:00 +0000

In a previous post, I noted how researchers seem to have a field day studying all manner of phenomena and coming to various conclusions ranging from lesbians and bisexual women not hearing as well as our straight counterparts, to the number of brothers determining whether a man will likely be gay or not. Whether this sort of research of any great use and worthy of the finances and resources thrown at it is debatable, but hardly offensive. Not so the carryings-on at Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU) in the US, which is currently under fire from animal and gay rights activists as well as other scientific experts for its 'gay sheep' experiments.

According to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), OHSU is conducting multi-million dollar experiments, funded by US taxpayers, through 2008 in which vivisector Charles Roselli kills scores of sheep and cuts open their brains in an effort to 'cure' homosexuality in humans. By studying the brains of what he calls 'male oriented' (homosexual) rams, he hopes to be able to find the hormonal mechanisms behind gay tendencies so they can be changed. In other words, this crackpot is hoping to find a biological basis for homosexuality in humans by 'studying' sheep.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Can they not find a more worthwhile job? Like forging ahead with the creation of artificial sex partners and remote sex. American sex researcher, Julia Heiman (hehe), envisions a "multi-sensual experience of virtual sex" to be available before 2016. Teledildonics (remote control of electronic sex toys by computer), first conceived in the 1980s, is set to take off big time it seems, with the advent of modern technology such as broadband, streaming media, Bluetooth and mobile phones. A company called Sinulate Entertainment is at the forefront of the cybersex revolution, with its 'sinulator', a gadget containing a USB transmitter you plug into your computer, a receiver that powers any Sinulate-enabled toy and special software that allows you to control your lover's vibrator or dildo, even though they may be physically on the other side of the world. If you don't have a lover, don't worry: the helpful company has thought of that and offers the opportunity to "meet new people, join a community, or search [for] girls who want you to control their toy" at www.sinulatorcams.com. Well, if you're going to sit at a computer for several hours a day anyway, it sure as hell beats trawling through spam emails - the Sinulator retails at a mere USD $139.95 from www.sinulator.com.

As for the monsters at OHSU, feel free to send an email to Dr Ed Ray, president of Oregon State University, requesting that OHSU immediately stop the needless use and slaughter of animals in these experiments and instead use taxpayers' money for beneficial research that does not involve the use of animals or for funding a sexual diversity acceptance and tolerance initiative.

Email: ed.ray@oregonstate.edu

Pick a Baby

Katrina Fox — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 07:51:00 +0000

With lesbians throwing themselves into the act of breeding like it's going out of fashion, I guess it had to happen: designer babies on demand. In the past, a section titled 'Pregnancy Help' in the classifieds section of a lesbian magazine wouldn't have existed. Now that it does and guys are offering up their sperm, they are also looking to ensure their 'product' (or should that be 'service'?) stands out from the rest. Like everything else, it's all about the marketing. No longer is it satisfactory for a sperm donor to be merely 'healthy' and happy to leave contact with any resulting kids up to the lesbian parents, additional attributes have become a selling point.

'Want clever kids?' asks one 'gay-friendly, Caucasian, creative' guy in this month's LOTL (Australia's national lesbian magazine). He's healthy (tested) and active, with the added bonus of being a 'professional' with a 'high IQ' and 'master degree' (I think he may mean Master's Degree, but then again, perhaps he is a BDSM connoisseur). No name is given, just an email address of brainy.baby@hotmail.com.

Now there's nothing wrong with wanting a brainy child, of course - the sooner it can wipe its own arse, clean up its vomit and change a plug, the better. And if the little runt grows up and gets an exceptionally well-paid job that keeps you in style in your old age, all well and good (although, political correctness aside, you could argue it might be better to opt for a pretty child in that case). But if GLBTI folk must breed, can we not be a bit more discerning than our heterosexual counterparts in the type of baby we require? If a clever child can be produced from someone with a high IQ, just think what bundle of joy will result from a sperm donor whose ad reads 'Screaming drag bitch, drug-fucked, creative, polyamorous pain whore, email babyinbondageandglitter@hotmail.com'. Or 'Want your child to be a green, scene queen? Ecologically aware, low-rent Abba fan can help. Email dancingvegandiscobaby@yahoo.com'.

Seriously folks, the straights are going to be busy seeking out donors who advertise themselves as 'clever', 'sensible', 'obedient' and all those other traits deemed by society as worthy and admirable. Whether we like it or not, this sort of eugenics mentality has arrived, so it's up to queers to get a little creative and ensure the most colourful among us don't become extinct. I can't see myself embracing motherhood anytime soon (even the $4000 from the government's Baby Bonus scheme won't tempt me - in fact, John Howard should be paying me $4000 for not having children and thereby not adding more pressure to the planet which is already vastly over-populated with humans), but for those of you who can't help yourselves, be picky with your donors. There are enough straight and straight-acting moral conservatives bringing forth their spawn - some of whom will, of course, turn out to be raging poofs or dykes in spite of their genes and upbringing (gotta love irony) - but it doesnât hurt to be proactive. Email fabulousfreakyqueerbabies@aol.com to register your interest.

Assimilation

Katrina Fox — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 12:56:00 +0000

We're a right bunch, arent we? By we I mean GLBTI folk or queer folk, although the latter term is proving controversial, judging by the letters pages of the gay press here in Sydney lately. In last week's Sydney Star Observer, a Gregory Franks from Sans Souci (could there be a camper name for a place?) slammed young GLBTI people for using the term queer. These cheeky so-and-sos affiliate themselves with radical political groups like socialists and atheists and then claim to speak for every gay and lesbian around, Franks says. Similar sentiments were expressed in last week's SX by Kendall-Atzlan Horrocks (could there be a camper name for a person?), who called for a total repudiation of the tactics taken by the 'fortress Queer' lobbies and lambasted anyone who considers themselves to be outside mainstream Australian life and culture as 'extremely juvenile'.

To assimilate or not to assimilate? That's the question. Sitting on the margins of society has its advantages: repression often fosters creativity and a sense of specialness; being part of something other can feel rebellious and exciting. But there's a price to pay: no equal rights, being treated as a second-class citizen, bashed. On the other hand, assimilating into the mainstream, becoming 'like everyone else' might offer a slew of equal rights. But there's a price to pay: blandness, and the further marginalisation of anyone who doesn't join you in towing the conservative party line in which individuality is sacrificed for the Holy Grail of normality.

Is it progress when the gossip magazines include stories on the civil unions of our gay icons such as Elton John, or as NW did this week, run a piece about Ellen Degeneres apparent 'fury' at girlfriend Portia de Rossi for spending 'flirty nights on the town' with...wait for it...a man! Our Ellen, who's embraced mediocrity big time with that awful talk show of hers, is sandwiched between bimbo supermodel Kate Moss and her arse of a boyfriend Pete Doherty, and a seven-page spread entitled 'What Stars Really Weigh', complete with pics of female celebrities sporting anything from a pot belly to stick insect frames. All rounded off, of course, with the staple quotes required for trash rags from sources close to the comedian, who say she's 'petrified' of Portia doing an Anne Heche (Ellen's former girlfriend who returned somewhat spectacularly to heterosexuality in 2000, having been found wandering the streets declaring she'd seen aliens).

What with this, and the token gays on reality TV shows, should we be pleased or horrified that we're becoming part of this mainstream? I'm a tad torn on the subject -after all, I'm just as happy curled up on the sofa with my girlfriend and cat watching Chita Rivera play a lesbian on Will & Grace as I am shimmying under a disco ball in a fabulous frock or mooning Her Majesty outside Buckingham Palace. But, given a choice of companion Ellen or transgender punk rock icon Jayne County (see separate blog on Jayne), it's Ms County every single time.

Interview with trans punk rock pioneer Jayne County

Katrina Fox — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 12:54:00 +0000

Recently Jayne County posted on her Myspace site that Gene Simmons of rock band KISS was trying to co-opt the name of her band (The Electric Chairs), which she's had since the 70s. He announced on his reality TV show that his son's band would be called Nick Simmons and The Electric Chairs. Jayne put out a call to action and Gene initially backed off. Jayne kindly agreed to let me interview her for SX, the weekly GLBTI magazine in Sydney that I write for. You can read the article online by going to:

http://www.evolutionpublishing.com.au/sxnews/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=784&Itemid=40

Since then, Jayne has found out that Gene is still using her band's name in re-runs of his show and on a DVD. Jayne (formerly Wayne County & The Electric Chairs) was the first trans punk rock artist - Kiss, Bowie etc just played dress-ups and it sucks that a right-wing rock star like Simmons can't think up an original name for his own son's band. Jayne is a fabulous person and if you're someone who dislikes right-wing bigots with lots of money trampling on people who retain personal integrity and individuality at all costs, never selling out, please visit her Myspace page at www.myspace.com/jayneisblonde to find out how you can help her.
Enjoy the interview!

The M Word (same-sex marriage)

Katrina Fox — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 12:51:00 +0000

Around 500 or so people attended a rally on Sunday in Sydney in support of same-sex marriage (it was part of a national day of action, with protests taking place across Australia). Considering the numbers that rock up to Mardi Gras or other party events, 500 was a pretty meagre figure, but I guess it's a reflection of how the M word has GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) communities across the world divided.

Equal rights for all means the right to marry if you choose to, says the pro-gay marriage lobby. Buying into a heterosexist institution whose roots are steeped in oppression flies in the face of what the early gay liberationists (drag queens and trannies at Stonewall) fought for - the right to live an unconventional life, say those on the other side of the debate. So pissed off are the latter in the US, that over 250 activists, academics and writers, including feminist poster woman Gloria Steinem, Sarah Schulman and Armistead Maupin, have signed a manifesto called Beyond Same-Sex Marriage: A New Strategic Vision for All Our Families and Relationships.

The manifesto calls for the legal rights and privileges of marriage to be extended to a myriad of relationships which traverse the lines of sex, gender, sexuality and even include close friends in long-term care-giving relationships. Schulman fears that the push by gay activists for the right to marry is harking back to the repressive values of the 1950s. She told The New York Times recently that, as a teacher, she sees a lot of younger gay people, especially women, adopting the heterosexual fantasy that even Barbie has distanced herself from - that someday they will meet the right person and they will get married and they would have children. She fears that lesbian mothers are embracing a poverty model and denying themselves the chance to be the next Emma Goldman.

I supported the rally on Sunday but not because I am a big fan of marriage; on the contrary, actually. I was annoyed that in 1997, the only way for my male-to-female transsexual girlfriend and I to protect our property and inheritance rights in England was to get legally heterosexually married under British law (we did it partly to get those protections and to expose the ridiculous legal loopholes). The irony, of course, is that last year, when I applied for permanent residency as her spouse (wife no less), Australian Prime Minister John Howards government refused to recognise our legal, British heterosexual union here in Australia and forced us to embrace the L word.

I supported the rally because I believe same-sex relationships to be as valid as heterosexual ones (and because I enjoy a good demo although I'd prefer it to be on a busy Saturday all through the city causing maximum disruption to traffic and business and ideally to the tune of '60s protest songs). I can see where Schulman's coming from though (lesbian mothers totally scare me!) and if there's a rally planned which calls for the promotion of sex and gender variant, polyamorous affiliations as a valid alternative to marriage to the young people of today I'll be there too.

No polite conversation

Katrina Fox — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 07:36:00 +0000

A few columns ago, I discussed the online social networking place, Myspace.com. I've managed to acquire an additional five 'friends' since then, but quite what we're supposed to do now, I don't know. I've never liked that initial polite conversation stuff you have to do with new people: 'nice weather', 'so, what do you do?'

That one always bugs me - what do I do when and which piece of information is more interesting to you? That I proofread the final pages for SX on Wednesday afternoons before it goes into production, or spend at least an hour most Sunday mornings masturbating while having slightly kinky fantasies set in downtown New York involving women wearing glitter eyeshadow? I also speak in a strange tongue when addressing my cat, with made-up words of affection such as 'choochy woochy ooboobooboochickitapussicatus'; shuffle my feet from side to side while singing the lyrics to Dr Hook's 'Who the Fuck is Alice?' to myself while waiting at traffic lights; and create my own social message T-shirts proclaiming such things as 'lesbian vegans will save the world' using an inkjet printer, special paper and an iron.

Being defined by your job gives an extremely limited picture of a person. The only time I've been truly interested in or impressed by someone's job and keen to know more is when I met a female Israeli fighter pilot 13 years ago at a party in London hosted by a gorgeous old dominatrix called Kate who, at only four-feet five inches in height, somehow got away with manoeuvring a large four-wheel-drive jeep through the city for 30 years while completely shitfaced on marijuana and not crash, even once.

Then there's the whole 'where are you from?' I know it's customary to reply with your city or country of birth, but aren't you so tempted to come back with 'my mother's cunt' every now and then, just to mix it up a bit and make the conversation less predictable? 'How are you?' has to be the most bland polite conversation opener since it's guaranteed to elicit a lie. We're like robots programmed with a small selection of acceptable standard answers, namely 'good', 'very well', 'great' or 'fine'. At least the last one as an acronym is more likely to offer some vestige of truth: Fucked-up Insecure Neurotic Emotional. I propose replacing the preposition now and then, again just to mix it up a bit - for example, 'why are you?' should be enough to induce psychological meltdown in your acquaintance and provide you with a few moments of amusement while they struggle with philosophical paradigms to try and come up with an answer.

I suppose I'd better get the ball rolling with my new Myspace 'friends'. You never know, one of them might also enjoy masturbating on Sunday mornings while having slightly kinky fantasies set in downtown New York involving women wearing glitter eyeshadow, and we can bond.

Find your fetish

Katrina Fox — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 07:34:00 +0000

While I'm not particularly hardcore in my sexual activities, I do have a rich fantasy life in which power-play and S/M feature fairly predominantly - whether it's Geena Davis as President Mackenzie Allen punishing her press secretary Kelly for various transgressions in Commander in Chief, or reliving my schooldays where my old bag of a PE teacher, formerly a member of the England Women's Cricket team, gets creative on my arse with various implements.

The 'leather' pride movement celebrates people's various fetishes and indulgences that are generally seen to be outside the mainstream. But it's not all just about PVC and whips, there's any number of things that can be considered kinky - like having sex while listening to The Seekers, as I did this weekend. After digging out some old albums, I was so excited by the protest song 'We Shall Not Be Moved' (currently my song of the week), that my long-suffering girlfriend - used to my occasionally bizarre idiosyncrasies - agreed to my bringing a compilation CD of the group into the bedroom on Sunday for musical accompaniment to our scheduled shagging session (yes, scheduled - we lead busy lives, ok!) . Oh, that's nothing, I hear you some of you say - background music while fucking is normal, even if it is saccharin-soaked, happy-clappy '60s folk pop. Well, that may be the case for songs about knowing you'll 'never find another you', but when you get into 'I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing' territory while licking your girlfriend's nipples, it gets a little out of the ordinary. And trying to enjoy cunnilingus to 'Morning Has Broken' and wondering if you'll come before Judith Durham belts out 'Kumbaya' is, in my books, entering surreal territory (try it if you don't believe me).

Why celebrate kink and fetish, some may ask - why not have 'vanilla' pride each year? Because 'normal' sexual practices aren't attacked so regularly or vigorously by right-wing fundamentalists, as the documentary Inside Deep Throat shows (whatever the 'truth' about Linda Lovelace's experiences in the infamous porn film of the '70s, it is a frightening account of a government censoring sexuality). While the original movie's plot was downright silly (a doctor discovers a woman's clitoris is in her throat and the only way she can have amazing orgasms is to give blow jobs), it brought discussions of fellatio into the open and dissipated shame around the practice. Gay Pride allows same-sex attracted people not to feel shame about their sexuality, and Leather Pride does the same for kinky folk. And no one should be ashamed of enjoying The Seekers…because we're on the road to freedom, people, and we shall not be moved.

We're all mad

Katrina Fox — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 07:32:00 +0000

What is the definition of 'madness'? When does 'eccentricity' turn into madness and who decides? These are the questions I pondered while walking to Coogee Beach recently, shortly after I interlocked my arm with my girlfriend's in a spontaneous moment and began to skip and sing 'We're Off to See the Wizard'. There was no hesitation on her part to join in immediately with this public display of gaiety. No surprise or embarrassment at her partner's sudden switch from dawdling along, deep in thought to a carefree impersonation of Judy and co on their way to Oz, just a natural and loving impulse to bond with me.

According to the online Brain Dictionary, we are certainly eccentric - displaying 'strange or unconventional behaviour'. But are we mad? Among its definitions, the Brain Dictionary gives the following for madness: 'Excited beyond self-control or the restraint of reason' and 'inflamed by violent or uncontrollable desire, passion, or appetite'. Hmmm…been there.

Maybe we're just lunatics. Lunacy is defined as 'insanity or madness - properly, the kind of insanity which is broken by intervals of reason, formerly supposed to be influenced by the changes of the moon'. PMS anyone? And 'a morbid suspension of good sense or judgment' - ahem…going back to an ex who treats you like dirt…it's not looking good for our mental health - or is it? There are certain clinical criteria to judge 'madness' based on statistical and social norms - among them extreme, unusual, exceptional, deviant, outstanding, odd behaviour (isn't that just a regular Saturday night out?).

But despite society's perception of madness and the stigma often attached to it, some experts believe it's good for us. British psychiatrist Anthony Storr says madness, though causing profound turmoil, can be "an enriching and renewing experience, deepening one's emotional existence". According to Storr, so-called 'mad' people can be unorthodox and pioneering. at the cutting edge of their particular interest or profession, as well as deeply spiritual, full of innate wisdom and compassion, bringing inspiration, hope and empowerment to others. The philosopher Hegel saw insanity as inherent in the soul's nature, having a psychological necessity and providing the soul with an experience that can't be gained in other ways.

Scottish psychiatrist RD Laing, known for his LSD therapy in the 1960s and his 'anti-psychiatry' approach to mental illness, rather sensibly believed madness to stem from a dysfunctional society rather than the individual, suggesting that people's madness is an attempt at sanity, or is sanity itself, in a world gone insane. Come to think of it, bombing and poisoning the earth, stripping it of its resources and committing mass murder of human and non-human beings all in the name of profit by governments and corporations makes my Saturday night behaviour sound positively pedestrian.

Gay men, however, are completely crackers though - it's official. Another definition of madness according to the Brain Dictionary is 'the name of a female fairy, especially the queen of the fairies, and hence, sometimes, any fairy.' Start waving those wands, boys.

Hello Satan

Katrina Fox — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 07:30:00 +0000

Apparently, a Vatican university is to offer a diploma course in Satanism. I decided to find out if the myths of ritualistic child abuse, human and animal sacrifice and devil worship usually associated with the religion were true. According to the website of the Church of Satan, they're not. "Satan is an archetype, a representation of certain qualities that the Satanist embodies, including rational self-interest, avoidance of oppressive mentalities, the questioning of all, and a perseverance towards success and human potential." Sounds ok so far.

Some of the nine Satanic statements encapsulated in The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey, the founder of the Church of Satan, are actually quite appealing. "Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence…Satan represents all of the so-called sins as they all lead to physical, mental or emotional gratification." High priest Peter Gilmore says: "We see the Christian Church's teaching about sin to be an insidious plot. They named seven deadly sins (lust, pride, greed, envy, anger, gluttony, sloth), which are things that everyone will do to some extent, and thus they made sure that every normal human could be defined as a 'sinner'. Then they set themselves up as being the only way to be saved from these 'sins'. So that is certainly one of the greatest con games in all recorded history." Well, he's got a point. Satanism, however, does have its own 'sins' which include pretentiousness, herd conformity and stupidity.

And while sectors of many religions condemn or forbid same-sex love and marriages, the Church of Satan welcomes people of all sexual orientations into its ranks, and despite accusations of racism and even fascism, which it refutes, the organisation also opens its doors to people from all races and ethnicities. Provided you are "truly beautiful and magnificent" that is.

Yes, like most religions, it has its dodgy side, although in this summary of contemporary Satanism by Gilmore, it's easy to see the similarities with some factions of fundamentalist Christianity: "A brutal religion of elitism that seeks to re-establish the reign of the able over the idiotic, of swift justice over injustice, and for a wholesale rejection of egalitarianism as a myth that has crippled the advancement of the human species for the last two thousand years." In essence, you can't be a Satanist if you're weak, stupid, suffer from constant life failures and self-loathing, and fail to appreciate the works of artists such as Beethoven or Da Vinci. But if you're a woman who feels a bit nervous walking the streets alone at night or a queer person needing a motto on how to deal with potential gaybashers, the 11th Satanic Rule of the Earth may come in handy: "When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him."

Satanism may not be everyone's cup of tea, but in many ways it's no worse or better than other religions. And as Gilmore helpfully points out: "Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years."

Find out more at www.churchofsatan.com